the starving games review

Alright, alright, lemme tell ya ’bout this movie, “the starving games”. I watched it the other day, and boy, oh boy, was it somethin’ else. Don’t you be expectin’ no fancy stuff, ya hear? This ain’t no “hunger games”, even though it tries to be. It’s more like… a goofy, silly mess.

The Story, or Whatever They Call It

So, there’s this girl, Kantmiss Evershot, yeah, that’s her name, sounds like a cat hissin’, doesn’t it? Anyways, she goes and takes her little sister’s place in some kinda fight-to-the-death game. 75th annual, they say. Sounds important, but it ain’t. It’s just a bunch of silly stuff happening one after another. They got these districts, just like in that other movie, but these folks are… different. They ain’t serious, they’re just… goofy. Like that one fella, always trippin’ and fallin’. And the weapons? Don’t even get me started. They fight with bread, for cryin’ out loud! Bread!

Kantmiss Evershot: She’s supposed to be tough, but she’s more clumsy than a newborn calf. Can’t even shoot an arrow straight.
The Sister: Manipulative little thing, got her sister into this mess. Always cryin’ and whinin’.
The Other Fighters: A bunch of weirdos, to be honest. One guy’s obsessed with bread, another one can’t stop dancin’. I tell ya, it’s a circus.

The Laughs, or Lack Thereof

Now, they say this movie is a comedy, a spoof they call it. But I ain’t laughin’ much. Some parts are kinda funny, I guess, like when that fella got hit in the face with a loaf of bread. But mostly, it’s just… dumb. They try too hard to be funny, ya know? Like they’re yellin’ at ya, “LAUGH! THIS IS FUNNY!” But it ain’t. It’s just silly. And sometimes, it’s just plain gross. They use some bad words too, not the real bad ones, but still, not somethin’ you wanna hear your grandkids sayin’. Words like “ass” and “damn” and even somethin’ that sounds like “huge anus,” can you believe it? Kids these days!

What the Critics Said

I heard some folks didn’t like this movie at all. Said it was the worst thing they ever saw. Said it got a big fat zero on some website, Rotten Tomatoes, they called it. Zero! Can ya believe it? I guess it ain’t for everyone. But hey, I’ve seen worse, let me tell ya. At least this one didn’t make me wanna throw my shoe at the TV.

My Two Cents

Look, this ain’t no masterpiece, alright? It ain’t gonna win no awards. But if you’re lookin’ for somethin’ silly to watch, somethin’ that don’t make you think too hard, then maybe you’ll like it. Just don’t expect too much. It’s a bit of a mess, a whole lotta goofiness, and a few laughs here and there. Like a cow in a china shop, that’s what this movie is. It’s supposed to be a parody, a make-fun-of movie, right? But it sometimes feels like they’re makin’ fun of themselves for makin’ such a movie, ya follow? The directors, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, they’ve done this kinda thing before, other movies like “Epic Movie” and “Meet the Spartans.” They like makin’ these goofy movies, I guess. And this “Starving Games,” it fits right in with the rest of them. They even made a little bit of money, not much, but some. About $3,889 at the box office, can you imagine? That ain’t much at all for a movie, is it?

So, Should You Watch It?

Well, that depends. If you like those goofy spoof movies, the ones that make fun of everything, then yeah, give it a try. But if you’re lookin’ for somethin’ serious, somethin’ with a good story and good acting, then steer clear. This ain’t it. It’s more like a plate of stale biscuits: you can eat ‘em if you’re hungry enough, but they ain’t gonna be the best thing you’ve ever tasted. It’s a time-passer, nothin’ more. You might chuckle a bit, you might roll your eyes a lot, but you won’t be bored, that’s for sure.

Final Words

So there ya have it, my thoughts on “the starving games”. Not the best, not the worst. Just… somethin’. Take it or leave it, it’s up to you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed the chickens. They make more sense than this movie sometimes.