retro game reviews

Alright, alright, listen up, y’all! We gonna talk about them old-timey games, the ones the young’uns wouldn’t even know how to turn on. Yeah, them retro games.

I ain’t no fancy expert or nothin’, but I played my share back in the day. We didn’t have no fancy PlayStations or X-Boxes. We had them Atari things, and that Nintendo with the duck huntin’. Lord, that duck huntin’ dog, always laughin’ at ya when ya missed. Kids these days, they wouldn’t understand the struggle.

So, what makes these old games so special? Well, for one thing, they were hard! No savin’ every five minutes, no sir. You lost, you started all over. Made ya tough, it did. And the games, they were simple, but fun. You knew what you were gettin’. No fancy graphics or nothin’, just good ol’ fashioned fun. Retro Game Consoles like Atari and Nintendo, they were the real deal.

Now, I see these young’uns playin’ games today, and I swear, they got too much goin’ on. Too many buttons, too many stories, too much everything. Give me a good ol’ retro video game any day. Somethin’ you can just pick up and play, you know? No need for no instruction manual the size of a Sears catalog.

• Atari, that was a thing. Simple games, but they kept you busy.
• Then came Nintendo, with Mario and all them. Jumpin’ and runnin’, that’s all you needed.
• Sega, they were pretty good too. Sonic the Hedgehog, faster than a greased pig, he was. Sega Dreamcast was fancy for its time, they say.
• And that GameBoy, playin’ games on the go, that was somethin’ else. Tetris, man, that game could suck you right in. Even little ones like GameBoy Advance were fun.

I hear there’s places on the internet, these “websites” they call ‘em, where folks write about these old games. They call ‘em “reviews,” like they’re some kind of fancy restaurant critics or somethin’. They talk about the “graphics” and the “gameplay,” all them big words. But to me, it’s simple. Was it fun? Did it keep ya busy? That’s all that matters.

These review folks, they go on and on about things like “emulators”. Sounds complicated, but from what I gather, it’s like playin’ them old games on your newfangled computers. That’s somethin’, I guess. Keepin’ the old games alive, even if they ain’t on the original machines.

Some of these reviews, they even got pictures and videos of the games. That’s mighty helpful, seein’ as how some of these games are harder to find than a hen’s teeth. And they talk about the “secrets” and “strategies” of the games. Back in my day, we just figured that stuff out ourselves. No internet to tell ya how to beat the boss, no sir. You just kept at it till you got it.

I seen some websites, they got reviews for all sorts of old game machines. Atari, Nintendo, Sega, even that PS1 thing. They say there’s like 35 different consoles or somethin’. That’s a whole lotta games, y’all. Makes my head spin just thinkin’ about it.

And these folks, they really get into it. They talk about the good and the bad of each game. Some games, they say the writin’ was bad, or the punctuation was all messed up. Well, I never paid much attention to that. I was too busy tryin’ to beat the game. And they talk about how some games weren’t very “socially conscious”. I ain’t even sure what that means. Back then, games were games, not statements or whatever.

But it’s good, I guess, that people are rememberin’ these old games. They were a part of my life, a big part. And even though the young’uns might not get it, these classic video games, they still hold a special place in my heart. They were simple, they were fun, and they made me who I am today. And that’s all there is to it, plain and simple. So, go on, find yourself an old game and give it a try. You might just surprise yourself.

And these websites, they offer all sorts of stuff. Tips, secrets, even interviews with the folks who made the games. Imagine that! Talkin’ to the people who made Mario jump and Sonic run. It’s a whole different world now, but it’s good to remember where we came from. So next time you see one of them old dusty game cartridges, don’t just toss it aside. Give it a whirl. You might just find yourself havin’ a good time, just like I did, back in the day.

Tags: retro game reviews, classic video games, retro video game, retro game consoles, Sega Dreamcast, GameBoy Advance, PS1