goat simulator game review

Okay, so I finally got around to playing Goat Simulator, and let me tell you, it was a wild ride! I’d heard so much about this game, mostly how buggy and ridiculous it is, so I figured I’d give it a shot and see what the fuss was all about.

First, I downloaded the game. Pretty straightforward, nothing fancy there. Once it was installed, I fired it up and was immediately greeted with… well, a goat. A very ordinary-looking goat in a very ordinary-looking suburban neighborhood.

I started messing around with the controls. You can make the goat walk, run, jump, headbutt things, and lick things. Licking is surprisingly important, as it lets you drag objects around. And that’s where the fun begins.

Total Mayhem

I quickly realized that the point of this game isn’t to have a point. It’s pure, unadulterated chaos. I spent the next hour just exploring the map and seeing what kind of trouble I could get into.

• I headbutted cars, sending them flying into the air.
• I licked people and dragged them around town.
• I jumped on trampolines that launched me into low orbit.
• I even found a jetpack and flew around like a deranged, four-legged superhero.
• I discovered some secret areas, like a bizarre ritual site and, I kid not, a low-gravity testing facility.

The game is intentionally glitchy. Sometimes the goat would get stuck in walls, or its limbs would stretch out in horrifying ways. But honestly, that just added to the humor. It’s the kind of game where you embrace the bugs, not try to avoid them.

My funniest moment was when, I rammed into a gas station, cause a massive explosion, and got ragdoll-physics and launched my goat, spinning wildly, across the entire map. I must have spent a good five minutes just laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all.

After a few hours, I felt like I’d seen most of what the game had to offer. It’s not a game with a deep storyline or complex gameplay. It’s just a silly sandbox where you can goof around and create your own fun.

So, yeah, that’s my Goat Simulator experience. It’s dumb, it’s buggy, and it’s absolutely hilarious. I’m now on the lookout to play any others in the series!