bastion game review

This here Bastion game, they say it’s a good one. I seen it, that boy of mine, he plays it all day. Says it’s some kinda ‘RPG’. Whatever that is. Looks pretty, I reckon. Lots of colors.

So, this Bastion game review, I’m gonna tell ya what I seen. That boy, he’s always glued to that screen. This game, it’s got some fella, they call him ‘the Kid’. He’s runnin’ around, whackin’ things. Got a big hammer, I seen that. Smash, smash, smash. Keeps him busy, that’s for sure.

They say somethin’ happened, somethin’ bad. ‘Great Calamity’, I heard him say. Sounds like a big mess, that’s for sure. Everything’s all floaty and broken up. This Kid, he’s gotta fix it, I guess. Runs around, picks up shiny things. Lots of fightin’.

And, you know, it is like those fancy moving pictures. Pretty and clear. Not like the blurry stuff on my old TV.

bastion game review
  • Pretty colors
  • Lots of fighting
  • That Kid fella
  • Somethin’ called ‘Great Calamity’
  • Fixin’ things up

This game, it’s like one of them stories, ya know? Got a fella talkin’ over it. Deep voice. Sounds important. Tells ya what’s goin’ on. I don’t always catch it all. He can have a fast tongue, but the boy seems to like it.

Heard him say it takes about six hours to beat, to finish it, you know? But he keeps playin’, over and over. Says there’s more to find. Secrets and such. Twenty hours or somethin. You know the young’uns, they don’t leave no stone unturned.

This Bastion, it’s a bit like another game he plays. ‘Hades’, I think he calls it. Looks the same, kinda. From up above. Lots of pretty pictures in that one too. And music. Always got music playin’. Keeps him happy, I suppose.

He says the fightin’s not the best part. Says the story is better. They always have a complaint, don’t they? But they keep on playing, so must be somethin’ good. Kid runs around, picks up these shiny things, builds stuff. He likes it. Don’t ask me what it is, some kinda magic, I suppose.

The game is like you are looking down from the sky. You see the Kid running around, smashing things with that hammer. The world looks all broken up, like after a big storm. You gotta be careful where you step.

That boy, he spends hours on it. Says he’s gotta find all the secrets. Gotta get it all done. One hundred percent, he says. Whatever that means. I tell him to go outside once in a while, get some fresh air. But he just grunts and keeps on playin’.

The music in this game, it’s kinda nice, I guess. Not like the music I used to listen to. But it fits, I suppose. Makes it feel more, I don’t know, important, maybe? Like somethin’ big is happenin’.

This Kid, he’s got all sorts of weapons, not just that hammer. I seen him with a bow and arrow, shootin’ things from far away. And somethin’ that looks like a big gun. Lots of ways to whack those monsters, I reckon.

bastion game review

They got all sorts of critters in this game. Weird lookin’ things. Some big, some small. All of ’em wanna fight, it seems. That Kid, he’s gotta be quick. Dodge and roll, that’s what the boy says. Keeps him on his toes.

And the places he goes! All sorts of different places. Forests and deserts and I don’t know what all. Looks like a whole world in that little box. Amazing what they can do these days.

So, this Bastion game, is it any good? Well, the boy seems to like it. Keeps him outta trouble, I suppose. And it’s pretty to look at, I’ll give it that. If you like that sort of thing, fightin’ and explorin’ and all that, then maybe you’ll like it too. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t play outside more. It’s a beautiful day out there.

I guess each to their own, right? Kids these days. Always with their heads in them screens. In my day, we played outside. We made our own fun. But times change, I suppose. As long as it makes the boy happy, who am I to complain? This Bastion game review will be talked about for a long time, I reckon.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *