dev game story hardware engineer

Alright, let’s talk about this “Dev Game Story” thing and how to get yourself a hardware engineer, you know, the fella who makes the game run on them fancy machines. I ain’t no expert, but I’ve heard things, seen things, and figured some stuff out.

First off, this ain’t no walk in the park. You can’t just hire a hardware engineer off the street, no sir. You gotta work for it, like growing corn, takes time and sweat.

So, you got your regular folks, right? Your coders, writers, designers, and sound engineers. You gotta get them leveled up. Real leveled up, see? Like level 5. All of ‘em, at least the main ones. That’s coders, writers, designers, sound engineers. That’s what they say anyway.

• Coder gotta be level 5. Makes sense, they write all that gibberish that makes the game work.
• Writer gotta be level 5. Them storytellers, gotta make the game interesting, so people don’t just stare at the screen like a cow lookin’ at a new fence.
• Designer gotta be level 5. They make the game look pretty, you know, pictures and all that. Folks like pretty things.
• Sound engineer gotta be level 5. Can’t have a game without noise, makes it feel real, like a tractor rumblin’ in the field.

Once you get them main folks to level 5, then you unlock some fancy titles like “Director” and “Producer.” I ain’t quite sure what they do, but they sound important. You gotta get them to level 5 too. Seems like a lot of work, but that’s how it is.

Now, some folks say you gotta get some fellas to level 5 in Director and Producer too, not just the regular folks. It’s like a big ol’ puzzle, ain’t it? But from what I hear, it ain’t enough to just get level 5 in some of them. You gotta get the main ones – coder, writer, designer, sound engineer, THEN director and producer.

And don’t go thinkin’ you can just mix and match. I heard tell of a fella who got one guy to level 5 in coder, designer, sound engineer, and producer, and another fella to level 5 in coder, writer, and director. Didn’t work! You gotta have all the main areas covered with one person, see? One fella gotta be good at all the important stuff.

There’s this thing called a “job swapping book,” whatever that is. Sounds like somethin’ you’d find in a library, which I ain’t been to in years. Anyways, they say you use that book to change your folks’ jobs around so they can level up in different things. Like one day they’re a coder, the next day they’re a writer. Sounds fishy to me, but folks swear by it.

Now, these hardware engineer fellas, they’re real important. They got high stats in “Program” and “Scenario.” I ain’t no city slicker, but I reckon that means they make the game run good and make the story make sense. They’re the backbone of the whole operation, like the engine in a tractor.

Some folks say if you win “Game of the Year” a few times, you can hire a monkey who’s already a hardware engineer. A monkey! Can you believe it? I ain’t never seen a monkey do nothin’ but eat bananas and throw poo, but hey, what do I know? But I hear it ain’t the fastest way. Leveling your folks up is the sure way, even if it’s slower than a snail in molasses.

And don’t forget about your office. You gotta have a nice office, not some cramped-up shack. You upgrade your office through research, which takes time and money, like everything else in life. The better the office, the better your folks work, I reckon. A comfortable hen lays more eggs, right? Same with game developers I guess.

So there you have it. That’s what I know about gettin’ a hardware engineer in this “Dev Game Story.” It ain’t easy, but nothin’ worth doin’ ever is. You gotta work hard, level up your folks, and maybe read a book or two, even if it sounds like a bunch of hogwash. And remember, patience is a virtue, just like waitin’ for the crops to grow. You put in the work, and you’ll get your hardware engineer eventually. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll win “Game of the Year” and get yourself a monkey engineer. Now wouldn’t that be somethin’?

Remember, level up them folks, coder, writer, designer, sound engineer, then director and producer. That’s the key, or so they say. And if you get confused, just remember what I said: it’s like farmin’, you gotta plant the seeds, water ’em, and wait. Same thing with these game developers. You gotta train ‘em, level ‘em, and wait for ‘em to become hardware engineers.