space real time strategy games

Alright, listen up, y’all. We gonna talk about them space real-time strategy games. You know, the ones where you gotta think fast and build stuff real quick, like when you gotta get them cows milked before the storm hits, only with spaceships and aliens instead of cows. Heard them young’uns talkin’ about it, so I figured I’d give it a whirl.

First off, what in tarnation is a “real-time strategy” game anyway? Well, from what I gather, it’s like this: you ain’t takin’ turns like in checkers. Everything’s happening all at once, like a chicken fight in the barnyard. You gotta be quick on the draw, buildin’ your spaceships and sendin’ them out to fight or gather stuff. It’s like plantin’ corn – gotta do it at the right time, or you ain’t gonna get no harvest.

Now, these space games, they ain’t like no farm I ever seen. They got all sorts of planets and stars, and you gotta fly around collectin’ resources. Reminds me of pickin’ berries, only instead of berries, it’s some kinda space rocks or somethin’. And you gotta build all sorts of crazy buildings, like factories and spaceports. Sounds like a whole lotta work to me, but them young’uns seem to like it.

One game they talk about is called “Stellaris“. Sounds fancy, huh? It’s like you’re in charge of a whole civilization in space, kinda like bein’ the mayor of a town, only bigger. You gotta explore, expand, and fight other folks. They say it’s got somethin’ called “4X” in it. Don’t ask me what that means, sounds like a bunch of hooey to me. But it’s got a big map with all them stars and planets, just like the night sky, only closer.

Then there’s another one called “Wargame: Red Dragon.” Now that sounds like somethin’ I can understand! Dragons! But it ain’t got no real dragons, just lots of fightin’. It’s made by some folks called Eugen Systems. Sounds like a couple of smart fellas, them Eugen boys. They probably know how to fix a tractor too, unlike them city slickers.

• You gotta build spaceships, lots of ’em. Like buildin’ chicken coops, only they fly.
• You gotta gather stuff, like space rocks and energy. Kinda like gatherin’ eggs, only sparklier.
• You gotta fight other folks, ’cause there’s always somebody wantin’ what you got. Just like them raccoons in the henhouse.

Folks say these games are hard to make. You gotta make sure everything’s balanced, so one spaceship ain’t too powerful. Like makin’ sure you don’t give one chicken too much feed, or it’ll get fat and lazy. And you gotta make sure it works good when lots of people are playin’ at the same time. That’s like tryin’ to have a barn raisin’ with a hundred folks, all yellin’ at once.

But I reckon it can’t be that hard. Them young’uns figured it out, and they ain’t exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. They say it takes a lot of learnin’, but shucks, so does plantin’ a garden. You gotta know when to plant, when to water, and when to chase the crows away.

So, if you’re lookin’ for somethin’ to do besides watchin’ the grass grow, maybe give one of these space games a try. Just don’t expect it to be easy. It’s like tryin’ to herd cats, only the cats are spaceships and they got lasers. And if you get stuck, just ask one of them young’uns. They seem to know everything these days, even if they can’t tell a hoe from a shovel.

Playing from space sounds like a hoot, and there’s a whole bunch of high-quality games out there, even more than the number of eggs I collected last summer. You can find them on consoles and computers, whatever that means. Some are on somethin’ called “Game Pass.” Sounds like you pay once and play a whole bunch of games. Kinda like a buffet, but for games instead of food.

All in all, these space strategy games sound like a whole lot of fuss, but I reckon they can be fun too. It’s like playin’ pretend, only with fancy graphics and spaceships. Just remember, keep your head down, build your spaceships, and don’t let them aliens get the best of you. And if you see a dragon, well, you let me know. I ain’t never seen a real dragon before.

And another thing ,these games, they ain’t just for them young’uns. Even an old gal like me can appreciate a good strategy. It’s like plannin’ a quilt, you gotta think ahead and make sure all the pieces fit together. Only instead of fabric, it’s spaceships and stars. And if you mess up, well, at least you ain’t gonna waste good fabric. Just start over and try again. That’s what I always say, life ain’t nothin’ but a series of second chances, and maybe a few space battles along the way.

Tags: space, real-time strategy, RTS, Stellaris, Wargame, PC games, space games, strategy games, Game Pass, Eugen Systems